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I'm one, and currently know at least 5 million, not to mention all the ones I've met over the years. They are all a little off, some in a good way, some not. If you don't know a drummer, go up to one and start talking, you'll see.
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Hells Yesss . . . NIGGA!!!
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My wife said this on our first date. I sprayed the windshield with Sprite and almost ran off the goddamn road. What really made it funny was the fact that she was serious. This one now lives on one of my file cabinets. I'm looking at it as I type this . . . fuckin' love it!!!
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We patterned this one after a nude spread Burt Reynolds did back in the day. Check it out, it's funny as shit.
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Here's one for all the bodybuilders out there. Keep lifting, motherfuckers!!!
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Mr. Fred Astaire, bitches . . . that is all.
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Me and the missus saw this exact scene outside of the Candlelight Wedding Chapel in Vegas a few years back. The guy looked like he was about to vomit. I hope it worked out, but I seriously doubt it did.
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This one is patterned after a neighbor we once had. He was a low-class drug addict, who at forty, still lived with and off of his mommy. She was a liar ass-clown as well. Constantly tweekin', while his mama was at work. Stealing to support his habits and being repeatedly bailed out by his mother. In all honesty, I hope he's dead, or at the very least, really close. He also had tiny hands and feet, so what does that tell ya'. Good Riddance!!!
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If you don't have one of these, buy one immediately!!!
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If you like this sort of thing, more power to ya'. It all seems a little uncomfortable for my taste. Unless it's two females, if that's the case, just sit back and enjoy the show.
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I'm sorry, but small boobs just don't do it for me. Never have, never will.
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This is me in every marathon I have ever run in. I'm not saying I always won, just that I looked drunk-as-shit and half-dead every fucking time I crossed the finish line.
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This is a stereotype that I have always thought was funny. It's actually more accurate than you might think. Just pay attention and you will see.
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This type of stuff is all bullshit, bullshit, bullshit . . . PERIOD!!! The only thing sadder is the idiots who actually believe in it. Never underestimate the extreme buying power of the uneducated and the ignorant.
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Playing darts with drunk girls has always been an enjoyable pastime for me. If you've never done it, you definitely should.
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I have always enjoyed listening to a good disc jockey. Howard Stern, Russ Martin, you name it. I just can't get enough.
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We have all known this type of guy/girl at one time or another. They always seem to come in after the fact, gather info., then go back and report ALL to the mouths of the community. Hey, Guess What??!!!!!!
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I have personally knocked-a-hole in so many of these chicks it's not even funny. Try it, you will like it . . . I promise.
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This is hot, and you know it. Unless you like to sword-fight.
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This one came from Beavis and Butt-head, circa 1994. Watch the "Pool Toys" episode. Still relevant, still funny. Check out the link below, it's at the 1:38 mark.
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An oldie but a goodie. I first saw this on a t-shirt back in the early '80s. After being unable to find it for many years, we decided to start printing it. Also, guns don't kill people . . . PERIOD!!! I own a lot of firearms and not one of them has ever injured anyone, ever. They just sit there waiting for me to shoot them, clean them, admire them, whatever. If I wanted to kill someone, the options for doing so are almost endless. I can think of hundreds of ways that wouldn't involve a gun. Just sayin'.
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My mother-in-law does this, constantly. Every time she does you know a fucking turd is about to fly out of her uneducated mouth. It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.
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If you don't know what a DOGGER is, look it up. It describes many, many people, and I'm not talking about a fishing boat.
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At least not anymore. Just lies, lies, lies, everywhere you turn.
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True story. Hey Michael D., you shouldn't have neglected your wife. I put her off for over a year before finally giving in. Sucks to be you . . . LOSER!!!
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A while back, I was falsely accused of making fun of this guy's little band. We had been friends for years until this incident. Well, that band is now kaput, and he is laying floors for a living. I would have given him a nice little stay-at-home job, but not now. Good luck Joe Mata, or should I say, Mr. Almighty Wasina. On another note, the flowers belong on the inside of the flower bed, not just randomly stuck in the grass . . . GENIUS!!!
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My wife asked me this recently, and I couldn't stop laughing. Also, to answer that question, they absolutely did.
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If you do this correctly, you are going to love what happens next.
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This one came from a table full of rednecks at a local bar here in Dallas. I had no choice but to put it on a sticker.
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Just some more words to live by, you will never go wrong doing this.
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